It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
