Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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