Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize