dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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