Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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