hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Your cock deserves a montage
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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