you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
