I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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