I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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