Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
