id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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