i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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