hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
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Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
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What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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