i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
