On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The power of my boobs compel you
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
