member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
