i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
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she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
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He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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