this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
this hospital has no fireball
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
