these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
