Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
