Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You're like the curious george of whores
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
