im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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