I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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