Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's just like the Real World with babies
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
