he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
