Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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