he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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