i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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