census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
