great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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