dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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