just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
