i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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