hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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