What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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