I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
