that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
