just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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