HIV tests are more positive than that guy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
