I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
