What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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