Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
