Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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