ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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