did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
