i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
