Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
a search helicopter?!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
