I swear she didn't look like that last week.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
