adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
we should paint friendship bongs
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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