your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
