and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
