im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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