Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
