He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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