I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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