Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
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Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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