whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he fucked my hip out of place.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
