I'm lost and stupid without you.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
