so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
