I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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