I wish you could order shots online.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
